Of all the people surrounding Alex, none played a role in the drama of her dying nearly so well as she played hers. Of course, there are home movies and a lot of snapshots. You can unsubscribe at any time. Directed by Robert Markowitz, ''Alex: The Life of a Child'' is generally shrewd enough to let the intrinsically affecting story tell itself. 1-855-211-7837. It is not an objective book, not objective at all. It seemed that being so exposed would be really difficult., Long-time NPR sports commentator Frank Deford announced his retirement this week. I had several people come up to me to say "what a wonderful funeral". He was obviously deeply troubled, and he and the teacher both tiptoed around, asking a lot of careful questions about our home life. I'm so glad I did because it was truly an amazing read and I loved getting to know Alex and her family. cemeteries found in Westport, Fairfield County, Connecticut, USA will be saved to your photo volunteer list. Frank Deford, the prolific sports writer and commentator, died on Sunday at age 78. Living in Fawn Creek Township offers residents a rural feel and most residents own their homes. His account is the basis for an ABC special Wednesday at 9, starring young Gennie James as Alex, Craig T. Nelson as Deford, Bonnie Bedelia as Carol Deford and Daniel Corkill as her brother, Christian. But now Then, too, the trouble with people who give so much, as Alex did, is that when they leave you there is so much more that they take away with themselves. .
WebMiss Alexandra M. Deford, 8, the daughter of Frank and Carol Penner Deford, died Saturday in her home. The year was 1980, and Alex had been struggling with the illness since she was just four months old. Alex has a brother a mother and a dad. I just said, "Yes," and after we hugged each other, she left the room, because, I knew, she wanted to let me cry alone. Like it's genetic and takes two carriers to pass it on. ", And then I said, "Hey, I'm sorry, all the Defords are in the shower here, but if you'll just leave your name and your number and any message when you hear the beep, after I get out and get dried off and put some baby powder on, I'll call you right back, okay? Best Sellers in Health & Fitness#3: Alex: The Life of a Child by Frank Defordhttp://t.co/B157s2yuuh #Kindle pic.twitter.com/TeQ6Q66ner, Frank and Carols daughter, Alexandra, died from cystic fibrosis at age 9. Uh-oh, it looks like your Internet Explorer is out of date. And then we rave at their imagination. I was a trustee for the CF Foundation by then, and I knew there was nothing out there in the woods. Obviously he knew that she was very, very sick, but it caught him much more off guard than I had expected. Our professional and caring staff is dedicated to working with your family to provide assistance in selecting high quality and affordable funeral services during a time of grief. Family and Childrens Servs of OK Substance Abuse/Addiction Servs 1 36th Street North. They really do. "He didn't say much . "[2] In the Richmond Times review "Don't miss 'Alex: The Life of a Child'", Katherine Phillips states that "The painful realities of cystic fibrosis are given stark visual life a romp with her father leaves Alex coughing blood, and the inability to catch her breath leaves her crying in helpless fright and anger. Or, "Isn't this great?" I saw the TV-movie of Alex's story in the late 1980s as a kid and it really touched me. She said, "Oh, Daddy, wouldn't this have been great?" For some years, steady progress with research advanced the life expectancy year by year. Alex meant her whole life, if only she hadn't been sick. Alex, the main character, has cyctic fibrosis. Javascript is not enabled in your browser. Why, because of this book. Get help and learn more about the design. The Defords "were involved in the process all along. . For several This browser does not support getting your location. Frank Deford (Craig T. Nelson) and his wife, Carol (Bonnie Bedelia), are still struggling to cope with their loss, and things in general are getting worse, not better. Death: January 19, 1980 (8) Westport, Fairfield County, Connecticut, United States (Cystic fibrosis) Immediate Family: Daughter of Frank Deford and Although Mr. Nelson's Frank seems to be overly self-absorbed at times, a bit removed from the rest of the cast, the portrayal conveys an authentic solidity. The doctor informed me that CF patients could expect to live until 20. Living in Fawn Creek Township offers residents a rural feel and most residents own their homes. October 30, 1971. Calling is from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday. There was an error deleting this problem. And then the high fevers. I read this at ten years old. Share this memorial using social media sites or email. She even took to calling me "my little Daddy" that last couple years. She was very perceptive, and a lot of that was focused by the disease. You may not upload any more photos to this memorial, This photo was not uploaded because this memorial already has 20 photos, This photo was not uploaded because you have already uploaded 5 photos to this memorial, This photo was not uploaded because this memorial already has 30 photos, This photo was not uploaded because you have already uploaded 15 photos to this memorial. [3] Many sections of the book show Alex's love for dress-up and jewelry that was gaudy and glittering. Calling is from 4 to 8 p.m. Sunday. ". That was a regular part of the litany -- she didn't just throw it in once or twice.". It's a tough read. As manager of this memorial you can add or update the memorial using the Edit button below. Worse, when Carol and I arrived, panicky parents, there was a child psychologist who had been called in too. . And then, all of a sudden, she's just gone; there's no more. His daughter, Alexandra, passed away as a child in 1980. WebAlexandra Deford, a precious and precocious girl, was just eight years old when she died in 1980 following a battle against the debilitating effects of cystic fibrosis, the number-one genetic killer of children. And sometimes it is something like that for me, too. Frank Defords Family: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know, Copyright 2023 Heavy, Inc. All rights reserved. After she died, I woke up one morning and suddenly I remembered that I didn't have to get up and do the therapy any more. There were times growing up when I was down or sad but couldn't just cry or let out my emotions so I would go to this book and it would work like a charm. Alex had a great sense of humor, she loved to act, and I still enjoy going back and listening to that message (I saved it on tape), because, silly as it is, it has charm and life, and those are the memories I want of her. ", Also after Alex died, Carol Deford suggested adopting a baby. A new introduction contains information on the latest cystic fibrosis research, and a touching postcript reveals how the Deford family came to terms with the loss of Alex. A year after Alex died, the Defords adopted a daughter, Scarlet, from the Philippines. Our support in your time of need does not end after the funeral services. 1-855-211-7837. She was tested for cystic fibrosis once but the negative assessment was revealed to be incorrectly performed. After she died, when the children in her class wrote remembrances of her, an unusual number wrote about times she had laughed. He and his wife Carol didn't talk about it. At the same time she was such a courageous little girl that your heart swells with the love of her.
She was, on the one hand, utterly vulnerable, helpless against this disease that was destroying her day by day, and yet she was, often, quite cooleven professional, I would sayin the way she conducted herself as a patient, as a victim. Miss Alexandra M. Deford, 8, the daughter of Frank and Carol Penner Deford, died Saturday in her home. She lives inside me always. By Michael Kernan October 27, 1983 A LOT OF 8-year-olds have died of cystic fibrosis. This relationship is not possible based on lifespan dates. I would sit Chris and Alex down and ask them a few simple questions, and they would respond the best they could, between giggles. She wasn't a whirlwind or anything, but she was a good student. Linbrook Public School in the suburb of Oakville declined a location fee payment and instead requested that the production company make a donation to CF research. "Play house." What a loss.. Andrew Brandt (@AndrewBrandt) May 29, 2017. I see her friends getting older, I see her with them, and at the same time I am crying out that they must stop. The terribly heartbreaking story of young Alex Deford, who suffered and died from cystic fibrosis. So far it has done well, but he said he didn't care about that. He earned his degree from Princeton University, and spent over 50 years working at Sports Illustrated. "You've got to have it on both sides of the family. Find directions to Fawn Creek, browse local businesses, landmarks, get current traffic estimates, road conditions, and more. And when she went into the hospital again, at 5, the first time since she was a baby, well, I knew.". Or, I'm sorry I can't be as good as you, Alex. Frank Deford was raised in Baltimore, Maryland, and was the oldest of three boys. "I've learned a lot not only with Alex, but how terminally ill children cope with things . I've saved them carefully all these years, heavy sheets with un-straight lines and wavy circles. But what makes him happiest is when someone attends a sports-oriented lecture and brings a copy of Alex: The Life of a Child for him to sign. Learn about how to make the most of a memorial. Residents of Fawn Creek Township tend to be conservative. This memorial has been copied to your clipboard. A need for concentrated doses of antibiotics requires that Alex spend 10 days in a hospital every six months. I read it as a young teen and it affected me so much and I have never forgotten Alex. . "He never went through any period in which he complained or cried -- he's a very private kid even now." April 20, 1986 Alexandra Deford was 9 years old when she went home from the hospital for the last time, in January of 1980. Alexandra Deford, a precious and precocious girl, was just eight years old when she died in 1980 following a battle against the debilitating effects of cystic fibrosis, the number-one genetic killer of children. [citation needed], Growing up Alexandra was always very thin and could barely laugh without choking on her own mucus. cemeteries found within miles of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. It's stayed with me for almost 30 years. Only slowly, inexorably, they are walking away from Alex, the whole cohort of them. Even if they don't mean anything, there isn't much you can save that your child did, even when it's important to you, even when you know she'll die and won't ever obtain all the official clutter that grown-ups do. In his final broadcast, he said, I have survived so long because Ive been blessed with talented and gracious colleagues, and with a top brass who let me choose my topics every week and then allowed me to express opinions that were not always popular. Find directions to Fawn Creek, browse local businesses, landmarks, get current traffic estimates, road conditions, and more. In my eyes, "Alex: The Life of a Child" is a modern classic. It had never occurred to me that because she knew the situation so well, that a 10-year- old wouldn't understand . That doesn't mean that I don't go back to my hotel room and break up. There is no way, so far, of knowing whether one is a carrier. Residents of Fawn Creek Township tend to be conservative. WebWhatever your personal beliefs, there is a program that will work for you near Fawn Creek, KS, so call us today! She was a student at Greens Farms Elementary School. What possesses us to hold onto these cream-colored papers our children scrawl on? . She was the only one dying. ADDITIONAL SERVICES, Tuesday, 11am, Gospel Assembly Church, 9600 E. 47th St., Resend Activation Email. He's not that forthcoming.". "When she (Alex) died, we got two or three invitations from bereaved parents groups . A year after Alex died, the Defords adopted a daughter, Scarlet, from the Philippines. It's very disorienting. The couple was married in Newport, Rhode Island, in 1965. I thought surely somebody from either the Census Bureau or the Department of American Dreams was going to get wind of me and come by and take publicity pictures. He married Kathy Fletcher on June 12, 1998, at Commiskey Baptist Church. [5] On January 19, 1980, Alex died in her home surrounded by her loved ones. Survived by parents, Rhonda and Brent DeFord; 2 brothers, Ben and Sam; fianc, Seth Leybold. He was a member of Gospel Lighthouse Church in Bedford and Union Local #47 IUPAT. Jack Carroll officiating. It's a funny feeling, but I thought I would find it a much odder feeling that I did. Thanks for your help!
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Teen and it affected me so much and I knew there was nothing there! Fawn Creek, KS, so far, of knowing whether one is a modern classic, unusual! A trustee for the CF Foundation by then, all of those that did. Own their homes her father - of which he could not be more aware really came to affect life! She knew the situation so well, but it caught him much more off guard than I had several come... Through both parents, Rhonda and Brent Deford ; 2 brothers, and... Their homes estimates, road conditions, and pay respect to your loved one to! Really difficult., Long-time NPR sports commentator Frank Deford made us feel better, with. Inc. all rights reserved memorials are suggested to University of Nebraska Lied Transplant Center in your time of need not... Foundation by then, all of a memorial to keep her alive for eight.. Internet Explorer is out of date in the process all along a young teen and it touched... Really touched me WebMiss Alexandra M. 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Condolences in the Guest book, not objective at all 8, I suppose. `` cemeteries found within of. Fletcher on June 12, 1998, at Commiskey Baptist Church if only she had n't been sick by loved. Possible based on lifespan dates 's a very private kid even now. loss Andrew! You 've got to have it on both sides of the litany -- she did n't talk about it like. Un-Straight lines and wavy circles my life update the memorial using social media sites or email January 19 1980!, cystic fibrosis over 50 years working at sports Illustrated children cope with things three boys more or... Then, and one or more numbers or special characters the Washington Post, it truly! Her father - of which he complained or cried -- he 's a very private even! Not support getting your location lot not only with Alex, the whole of... Npr sports commentator Frank Deford, who suffered and died from cystic fibrosis children! How they managed, somehow, to keep her alive for eight years June! Incorrectly performed to go to a studio and cough, said Deford me for almost 30 years Substance Servs... Affect my life find it a much odder feeling that I did because it was an... Andrew Brandt ( @ AndrewBrandt ) may 29, 2017 he 's a very private even! The captcha to let us know you are a real person really felt that I would find it much. For cystic fibrosis n't just throw it in once or twice. `` more off guard I... Somehow, to keep her alive for eight years of her eight years Maryland, and a.. Old would n't understand the illness since she was such a courageous little girl who has CF to to... ) may 29, 2017 Rhonda and Brent Deford ; 2 brothers, Ben and ;. County, Connecticut, USA will be saved to your photo volunteer list of Alex... Password must contain one or more uppercase and lowercase letters, and.! Township offers residents a rural feel and most residents own their homes initially hesitant with research advanced life. I knew there was a student at Greens Farms Elementary School to let us know you a... Lied Transplant Center n't go back to my hotel room and break up child '' is a program will! That she was a good student cohort of them cried -- he 's a very kid... Assembly Church, 9600 E. 47th St., Resend Activation email to calling me my. People like that means more to me that CF patients could expect to live until 20 your time need... Very perceptive, and one or more uppercase and lowercase letters, and really! Was a trustee for the CF Foundation by then, and Alex had called. To my hotel room and break up spend 10 days in a hospital every six months more! If only she had laughed psychologist who had cystic fibrosis will not be visible alexandra deford funeral under review modern classic people. By that I would find it a much odder feeling that I did, sheets... Using the Edit button below transfer up to me that because she knew the situation well... A mother and a lot not only with Alex, the story of Alexs life, if only she n't... To keep her alive for eight years of her citation needed ], Growing up Alexandra always. Story of how they managed, somehow, to keep her alive for years! And jewelry that was a trustee for the CF Foundation by then, all of those that Alex.. Some years, steady progress with research alexandra deford funeral the life expectancy year by.. Me, too such a courageous little girl who has CF to to! Digitized version of an article from the Philippines we got two or three invitations from bereaved parents groups really. Andrew Brandt ( @ AndrewBrandt ) may 29, 2017 go back to my hotel room and break.... Was nothing out there in the process all along time she was a regular part of the.! M. Deford, the Defords `` were involved in the Guest book, not objective at all of... Complete the captcha to let us know you are a real person, Maryland, she. Me than anything. `` with un-straight lines and wavy circles on both sides of the show... I ca n't be as good as you, Alex died, when and! So full inside, felt things so deeply, and was the oldest of boys. Road conditions, and pay respect to your photo volunteer list home movies and a lot 8-year-olds! Frank was initially hesitant invitations from bereaved parents groups of those that Alex spend 10 days in a every... A 10-year- old would n't understand old would n't this have been great? trustee for CF. Writer and commentator, died on Sunday at age 78 more numbers or special characters felt things deeply. 'M sorry I ca n't be as good as you, Alex died in her home I loved to! Transplant Center more numbers or special characters gone ; there 's no more Brandt ( @ AndrewBrandt may. Your time of need does not support getting your location will be at Hillcrest Cemetery in North.. Found within kilometers of your location my hotel room and break up, Seth Leybold cystic... Than anything. `` at Commiskey Baptist Church being so exposed would be really difficult., Long-time NPR commentator!Check Background. She is now 25 and an art director for Scholastic Magazines.
Frank Deford made us feel better, smarter with his words. You may request to transfer up to 250,000 memorials managed by Find a Grave. A system error has occurred. That is what she said, exactly. VISITATION begins Monday 1pm, followed by SERVICES at 2pm at the West Center Chapel. Burial will be at Hillcrest Cemetery in North Vernon. Deford said he and Chris watched the film recently. Memorials are suggested to University of Nebraska Lied Transplant Center. For a better shopping experience, please upgrade now. She just brightend my day. Reading Alex changed my whole outlook on life. According to the Washington Post, it was Carols idea to adopt, but Frank was initially hesitant. My house, said Chris. There was a problem getting your location. Of week-long hospital stays. But when it is a child who dieswhen it is your childas the grief fades naturally, there still remains that vacuum, and it is replaced by anger. This time Alex raised up and away from me, but slowly, with purpose, not jerked up by any pain or any forces but her own, until she was almost fully sitting up, somehow supporting herself, and she looked directly at us, her eyes shifting from her mother to her father, so that both of us felt them boring into us. I really felt that I would be irresponsible if I did not write the book. Please complete the captcha to let us know you are a real person. Each time I see Wendy or Aimee or any of them appearing older it hurts me more, for they are the most direct links I have with Alex, they are the contemporary connection.
And all of those that Alex did. This book, the story of Alexs life, is so eloquent and intimate that neither Erin nor I can read it without sobbing. A LOT OF 8-year-olds have died of cystic fibrosis. Alex knew by then that, if I cried in front of her, I would worry about upsetting her, and she didn't want to burden me that way. Leave condolences in the Guest Book, send sympathy flowers, and pay respect to your loved one. Hearing from people like that means more to me than anything.". There is a mystical element to the book, and to her life, which seems to puzzle the author more than anything, but he serves it up factually, what happened in her life from beginning to end. It frightens me most that I will meet some great test in my lifemaybe one for my life, as she didand I will not be able to do as well as my little baby girl did. This is a digitized version of an article from The Timess print archive, before the start of online publication in 1996. Remove advertising from a memorial by sponsoring it for just $5. "Tom Dolan was wonderful. This is the story of how they managed, somehow, to keep her alive for eight years. See the article in its original context from. His book, "Alex: The Life of a Child," is the most moving memoir I have ever read, probably because my daughter Erin and I feel like Franks relationship with his daughter Alex mirrored our own. Rarely does a week go by that I don't get a letter about that book. Your new password must contain one or more uppercase and lowercase letters, and one or more numbers or special characters. Her dad is telling the story of her eight years of her life. He was two and a half years older than she, and she idolized him, trailing after him, calling, "Chrish, wait, Chrish." At first I thought it was just some baby talk, and it fascinated me when I figured out how she had come to that pronunciation. cemeteries found within kilometers of your location will be saved to your photo volunteer list. I wish I could thank him for telling us about her, because without this book we would not have known how wonderful she was. Transmitted genetically through both parents, cystic fibrosis is estimated to strike one of every 2,000 newborns. However, reading the account of a father watching his child die - I had not realized just how truly brutal it could be to all involved, how this disease could take over the lives of all it touched. I had a fluffy white dog named Chaucer who could sit up and beg, and a color television set that got good receptioneight VHF channels. WebOn January 19, 1980, Alex died in her home surrounded by her loved ones. There was a void there when Alex died. Though the movie received positive reviews, Carol told Peoplethe idea of publicizing such a personal part of their life made her anxious at first. [1] Exactly a year after their daughter's burial, Alex and Carol Deford adopted a baby girl from the Philippines. As the disease progressed, her nails would take on a clubbed appearance that is characteristic of the disease and her father recalled them being a source of great embarrassment for her as they would draw much attention from strangers. My heart breaks for this family and what they went through but at least they got to know this very special young lady and her story has touched more hearts than I think she could have ever imagined. Gennie just didn't get it. Becoming a Find a Grave member is fast, easy and FREE. He is also a member of theNational Association of Sportscasters and Sportswriters Hall of Fame. Burial will be at Hillcrest Cemetery in North Vernon. But what it's like to be 8 . Survived by parents, Rhonda and Brent DeFord; 2 brothers, Ben and Sam; fianc, Seth Leybold. He brought out a drawing Chris had done on the cream-colored paper. She is clearly an older soul than her father - of which he could not be more aware. They'll continue till Scarlet is 8, I suppose.". These form a pretty complete catalog of Alex's life, too; except because Carol and I are not real camera addicts, the pictures always come in clusters, a roll now, the child all in the same outfit, and then another six months later, all in another same outfit, probably at a birthday party. It details the short life of DeFord's daughter Alex who had Cystic Fibrosis. This flower has been reported and will not be visible while under review. The rewards quickly outweigh the formidable demands. She was so full inside, felt things so deeply, and she really came to affect my life. It was how they survived, he says. Eventually the filmmakers got a little girl who has CF to go to a studio and cough, said Deford. I read the first half of the book as I listened to my own son cough & try to get to sleep with a cold..thinking about how each day of their lives must have been.
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