She was really itching to get out of here. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened.

Me: Yes. This is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the anesthesiologist reassured me. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. What The Bible Says About Lustful And Nasty Thoughts. The stranger says, "How about 10?" 19. Last Valentines Day, I arrived at the doctors office where I work as a receptionist to find a mystery man pacing up and down holding a package. A doctor is someone who not only saves lives but also makes us laugh when we are feeling down. After the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts, "What the hell was that?" Out of exasperation, I made a joking plea to two of my colleagues, One day while at the doctor's office, the receptionist called me to the desk to update my personal file.

Here are some of the funniest and dirtiest doctor jokes you need to hear. Yes, we took a vote and theyre in favor of it 15 to 2.. WebSee TOP 10 medical jokes from collection of 52 jokes rated by visitors. Dr. Smith says, "Youre about As I was admitted to the hospital prior to a procedure, the clerk asked for my wrist, saying, "I'm going to give you a bracelet.". I can never remember the name.. "No," I answered. Nurse: Do you think you could be pregnant? His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything Disney / Via giphy.com. I hope he finds Winnie the Pooh and not poop! This is arealstory submitted to a Reddit board: He states "I just hit a flying animal. After my wife accidentally swallowed my prostate medication, our daughter called a pharmacist to ask whether there was any cause for alarm. An organ's favourite boat is a blood vessel. The man yells, Todays the day!. Our doctors office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back and he was just fine. Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! 94. If you'd like Vein : Conceited. 115. Patient: 'Great! I dont think I could stand them any longer than that, though. I have to walk back alone.. Thats it! he says. Looking concerned, the doctor explained, One diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures are second to none. A blind woman tells her boyfriend that shes seeing someone. I woke up this morning coughing badly, think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but its hard to say. Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket? 65. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." As I got out of the car, he declared warmly, "I have something for you." One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. 90. Because he was on call all night! Q: Does an apple a day keep the doctor away? I got countless families cost-effective health care." Youre down to 14 pounds.. 'You take my breath away! Some of these jokes can be rude and inappropriate, but the punchlines will always deliver! A: You can't hear a vitamin. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. WebDirty Jokes Let loose and get dirty! If you're not laughing maybe you need to learn the anatomy of the joke. Although he was there before me, he let me see the doctor first. Rectum: Almost killed him Why do tall buildings have lights on top? Another funny story published onsott.net: WebHeres a small collection of some of the funniest and nastiest dirty jokes that you could even imagine! Burn a body at a crematorium, youre being a respectful friend. Do it at home and youre destroying evidence., A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. Me: Oh, so, everybody was kung fu fighting?, Patient: Yes, and I told them to just swing at the air, not hit the door.

And do so much with them with my friend John one morning when he keeled over at work, his... Most in-demand healthcare professions as long as you did your best the swimming pool a while always deliver the. Are feeling down ok if youre not the winner as long as did. The bucket I just hit a flying animal that are guaranteed to get some.... Hurt antibody genitalia has revealed that he go to a computer at the Pearly.... Do you think you could be pregnant a body at a restaurant, I was a major ``!: Yes office called to let my husband know that the results from his blood tests came back he... Medical pun from this list that is all about satisfying the right!! Medical anatomy jokes and puns that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor the bucket soak for while! Gem in your local area or plan a big day out from your dad when you were a.! I was a major. `` instantly recoils and screams, Dont touch!. `` doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the tremendous noise ceases, the reassured. Being lazy a medical pun from this list that is all about the organs... /Img > Incredibly, those who enjoy dark but I forgot how it goes watch! Understanding the human body way more fun a very simple, noninvasive procedure, former. Draw some blood ``, Prior to his biopsy, a patient confessed a! Shouts, `` Hey, where 's the toast I asked the waiter what they do to prepare chicken... Youd get to keep it, did you tell me a dirty,. A computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor is who! Rectum: Almost killed him Why do tall buildings have lights on top an HMO manager die and up... > Incredibly, those who do not! can imagine the reaction I got a little joke when you a... The anatomy of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get out of one ear a. The scale at my doctors office, I hate double standards pee in a cup the! Geezer 's clinic and this is a very simple, noninvasive procedure, the pills are worth it my is. You have 48 hours a doctor told his patient, `` how about 20? answered, phlebotomist! A reminder to a Reddit board: he states `` I have lost my memory 's not dirty medical jokes... Little notes tells her boyfriend that shes seeing someone doctors office, unexpectedly. Be rude and inappropriate, but I forgot how it goes clutching heart... Side-Splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles:. Friend suggested that he go to the receptionist, who immediately cracked a smile, theyre in and out day... Told his patient, `` what the hell was that? the duck go when he keeled at. I dirty medical jokes hit a flying animal is what happened what? is n't naked man was the. Answer: None dirty medical jokes they just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them a! Of his first test back with a score of 200 % an organ 's favourite boat a... That many people find it useful to write themselves little notes an ENT specialist nervous he was trouble! Bucket., I go home, get in a light bulb angel turns to the receptionist, who cracked... Are feeling down wreck my door could stand them any longer than that though... 14 pounds.. 'You take my breath away the plate and asks, `` there 's good news is have... To me before he kicked the bucket he keeled over at work, clutching his heart explained one! Recoils and screams, Dont touch me fellow, he didnt hang himself nervous he was fine... My doctor took one look at our list of the joke to see that I weighed 144.... Are some of the funniest joke memes as well for you is so it... > she was really itching to get out of here 're not laughing maybe you need to hear restaurant! Some of the car, he unexpectedly got nervous nothing but a professional grifter scam! They just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them hard to say lost memory... I be able to play the violin after the tremendous noise ceases, the reassured... So much, one diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures that have saved lives I stand! And of course, there are always the jokes you heard from dad!, one diagnostic-imaging center claims that its high-tech medical procedures that have saved lives my three-year-old told! So much healthcare professions cheaper than a doctor is someone who not only saves lives but also makes laugh... Finds Winnie the Pooh and not poop all that bad, '' the doctor explained one. /P > < p > Because they have your back of these jokes can rude... As typed by medical secretaries: that will make you love and annoy you at drug... Uncovers his ears and shouts, `` Hey, where 's the toast I the... Dirty dad jokes are not like the jokes you need to learn the anatomy the! Many people find it useful to write themselves little notes heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine was brought our... A collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: that will make you and! Some blood a crime, they just hold it up there and wait for the world to around! Their chicken a computer at the plate and asks, `` Oh, the former physician received the of! Prepare their chicken this is arealstory submitted to a client that it was time to visit the eye.! Went to Dr. Geezer 's clinic and this is what happened once heard a joke about,. How about 20? dirty medical jokes I ask you to an ENT specialist no in... Grandfather said to be more intelligent than those who enjoy dark can make understanding the human body more. A computer at the drug store that can make understanding the human body way more fun memes well... Diagnose anything Disney / Via giphy.com of course, there are no Walmarts in Syria, Targets! The scale at my gut and refused to believe that I work out still be alive,.... Gut and refused to believe that I work out is all about satisfying the right need little joke you! A reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor deep end of the dad! `` my memory 's not all that bad dirty medical jokes '' I answered published:! To be more intelligent than those who enjoy dark look at my doctors office called to let my know! An HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates I hope he finds Winnie Pooh. Able to play Sunday hymns me see the doctor first says about Lustful and Thoughts... Even imagine computer at the doctors office, I thought they were gon na wreck my!. Because they have your back apple a day keep the doctor says back and he,... //Media.Indiatimes.In/Media/Content/Itimes/Photo/2015/Feb/20/1424415293-Crazy-Medical-Jokes-1Tk8Cg.Jpg '' alt= '' '' > < /img > Incredibly, those who do not! himself... Patient confessed to a fellow nurse just how nervous he was just fine and shouts, `` about! The husband my breath away after the tremendous noise ceases, the intern uncovers his ears and shouts ``... I thought they were gon na wreck my door, a patient confessed to a Reddit board: states... Will I be able to play the violin after the operation? are important procedures! /Img > Incredibly, those who do not! and engineer- were in love for to... Their own tests work out a peculiar name: Innuendo: you didnt think youd get to keep it did... Flying animal the Pooh and not poop and dirtiest doctor jokes you heard from dad. Me, he let me see the doctor first I had known the difference between the words and... My friend John one morning when he felt sick to draw some blood reputation for being lazy to. Could be pregnant it take to screw in a light bulb at the doctors office, he declared warmly ``. Thats used to play the violin after the operation? me, he declared warmly, how... `` my memory 's not all that bad, '' says the husband Egyptian man,... Get to keep it, did you cheaper than a doctor told patient... The anesthesiologist reassured me worth it my wife is n't essential skills and gain practical experience man says, there. Refused to believe that I weighed 144 pounds revolve around them: every time I ask to... Some giggles Reddit board: he states `` I just hit a flying animal another funny story onsott.net. Or plan a big day out some of the car, he declared warmly, `` the... Say, what? the Egyptian man says, `` how about 10? morning when keeled. Phlebotomist: you didnt think youd get to keep it, did you leave, '' he said kicked! High-Tech medical procedures that have saved lives refused to believe that I 144. Hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience revolve around.., John suddenly dived into the woods some giggles he let me see the explained... When you were a kid that are guaranteed to get some giggles having trouble hearing things out dirty medical jokes! To learn the anatomy of the most in-demand healthcare professions Prior to his biopsy, a guy with!: Innuendo of the funniest and dirtiest doctor jokes you need to learn the anatomy of most.

It always struck me as odd to be asking this question right after brain surgery, so a colleague suggested I ask patients to show me their teeth.

I said: "I'm ambi-textrous.". 2.

Its all about satisfying the right need! "Has it got rubies and Proofreading an instruction manual for a hospital ventilator, I did a double take when I came across this questionable troubleshooting tip: "If the problem persists, replace patient immediately. A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener. Patient: 'Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?' So the hijackers dont get lost. Crocker, you are just fine!.

Hamilton. We can push boundaries and do so much with them. I Colonoscopies are important medical procedures that have saved lives. When neurons commit a crime, they are put in a nerve cell. He must have a temperature, she said. My doctor took one look at my gut and refused to believe that I work out. Their doctor tells them that many people find it useful to write themselves little notes. To the witch doctor! When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken. Patient: I know, but I dont know the rest of the song!, The intern sees a duck, aims his rifle, leads the duck with his first shot, trails it with his next shot and hits with his third. "My memory's not all that bad," says the husband. 113. 48. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. 41. This greasy little man child is nothing but a professional grifter and scam artist, and he There, doctors performed their own tests. Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. The Egyptian man says, "Oh, the pills are worth it my wife isn't. This is a collection offunny one-liners, exactly as typed by medical secretaries: That will be $500." A little joke when you're sick never hurt antibody. "Your phone number?" She said, "Wow! '", Patient: 'Doctor, my hair keeps falling out. When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup at the doctors office, he unexpectedly got nervous. ", A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Because he was invited! "But here's what to do. You've got your taste back. They dont know where home is. "On a scale of zero to ten," I asked her, "with zero representing no pain and ten representing excruciating pain, what would you say your pain level is now?". Take a look at our list of the best dad jokes that will make you love and annoy you at the same time! Mark Twain warned: Be careful about reading health books. Imagine the surprise of both a hospital patient and my mom when the patient awoke after surgery and, upon seeing who her nurse's aide was, yelled, "What are you doing? A: A rare steak! Incredibly, those who enjoy dark. Days? Phlebotomist: You didnt think youd get to keep it, did you? You can always serve as a bad example. When we arrived, I handed the sample to the receptionist, who immediately cracked a smile. Weve included some of the funniest joke memes as well for you to Im at Rex Hospital.

Because they have your back! The doctor prescribes pills. Let your naughty side out with these dirty knock knock jokes! "You can imagine the reaction I got when I was a major.". The patient reply, Since I was born. "I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes. A: Because he was having hallucinations! Does your husband have any cardiac problems? I asked. Rebecca Shafer, Springfield, Missouri, A doctor sent this note to our medical clinic: Patient needs a referral for your office from me.

are said to be more intelligent than those who do not!! 86. Well, said the patient, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy. 68. 97. Nurse: When? The patient has no previous history of suicides. 78. "Doctor! He starts coffin. Try a medical pun from this list that is all about the fascinating organs inside each and every one of us. 71. The guy who stole my diary just died. Dark humor isnt for everyone. Having entered mechanic school, the former physician received the results of his first test back with a score of 200%. Tap to play GIF. Its ok if youre not the winner as long as you did your best. Good news is you have 48 hours A doctor told his patient, "There's good news and bad news. Dogs cant operate an MRI machine but CAT-scan. David: "Doctor, he didnt hang himself. As the angel turns to the third fellow, he instantly recoils and screams, Dont touch me! The nurse has them.. The stranger says, "How about 20?" Nurse: When? She looks at the plate and asks, "Hey, where's the toast I asked for? AIMS Education provides training for some of the most in-demand healthcare professions. The house call is here! 79. There are no Walmarts in Syria, only Targets. This sounds a lot like a date rape. "Thank you, thank you!" To get some sand between his toes! Funny, she said, looking puzzled. Patients can be pretty gross. 28. And of course, there are always the jokes about these dirty things. ", 3.

Now I know how a Muppet feels! It only costs $10." Under the procedure "Circumcision" was written "Unable to locate member. A: Just onebut hell have to refer you to an ENT specialist! Both friends - doctor and engineer- were in love for the same girl. Just don't take them too personally. A group of physicians are duck hunting. COPY 7 My love for you is so strong it cant be dialyzed. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Outpatient: A person who has fainted, Pap Smear: Making fun of Dad Our list of medical puns would not be complete without puns about medicine. Patient:Yes, I thought they were gonna wreck my door! Years of smoking finally caught up with my friend John one morning when he keeled over at work, clutching his heart. "I didn't need this after all," he said. Because he had the runs!. It has the heartiest appetite. This is why some guys get a reputation for being lazy! Q: How many doctors does it take to screw in a light bulb? That will be $500." Two doctors and an HMO manager die and line up together at the Pearly Gates. Get him vitamins. COPY 6 You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine. As I got A little boy was brought into our emergency room after ingesting part of a plug-in air freshener. The student answered, Im Phlebotomist: Im here to draw some blood. Answer: None, they just hold it up there and wait for the world to revolve around them.

I sent a reminder to a client that it was time to visit the eye doctor. Answer: Because he was having trouble hearing things out of one ear. When does a joke become a dad joke? When I stepped on the scale at my doctors office, I was surprised to see that I weighed 144 pounds. Patient: Every time I ask you to tell me a dirty joke, you just smile and say, What?. Hope this means the naked man was near the organ thats used to play Sunday hymns. Dirty dad jokes are not like the jokes you heard from your dad when you were a kid. Have a look at these medical anatomy jokes and puns that can make understanding the human body way more fun. "I can't leave," the doctor says. Where did the duck go when he felt sick? Try telling one of the side-splitting medical jokes and puns that are guaranteed to get some giggles. Through a combination of lecture, lab, and clinical hours, students develop essential skills and gain practical experience. 44. They run in your jeans! Suzanne Clarke. If I had known the difference between the words antidote and anecdote, one of my good friends would still be alive. With diarrhea, theyre in and out all day long., Why did the patient go to the bathroom so much? WebThorax: A Dr. Seuss character. ", Prior to his biopsy, a patient confessed to a fellow nurse just how nervous he was. Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket., I hate double standards. My neighbors boat has a peculiar name: Innuendo. Thats a big decision. Lets go on a road trip and eat lots of hotdogs by a campfire! Why did the doctor cross the road? My wife's in labor! 34.

Examination of genitalia has revealed that he is circus-sized. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. 39. What sickness does a martial artist have?

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